Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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