lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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