No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
