Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
