Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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