I murdered the dance floor call the cops
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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