How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize