Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
