He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
