I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
