it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Randomize
