ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
