Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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