just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize