if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
