I'm eating all of the evidence.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Randomize
