dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Randomize
