Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
