We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
