I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize