Cold hands, warm shart.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize