I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
