I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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