Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
