I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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