Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I think people are normalizing furries
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
