you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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