i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
