I hope mine doesn't look like that
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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