remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
