omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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