so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
