we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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