Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We were destined to go to rehab together
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
