this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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