GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
