no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
