This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
