I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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