I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
