help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
