We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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