Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
