Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
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