It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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