end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
