haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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