Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
