I'm going to jail i love you
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize