Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
