But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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