i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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