making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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