grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
