it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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