I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
