Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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