This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
