Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize