I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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