My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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