C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
