I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
