i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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