I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize